In this article, you’ll learn more deeply the Kibbe body type guide with your frequently asked questions answered. After identifying your Kibbe body type, chances are, you’ll experience resistance. Therefore in this article, I’ll go through the most common examples of resistance to embracing your physical self. This way, you can overcome it and open yourself to a deeper self-acceptance, so that you can embrace with joy all that you are! The following are taken from David Kibbe’s book Metamorphosis.
Kibbe Body Type Guide FAQs
What if I look too masculine?
Nearly every bold Yang women seems to have a “thing” about softness and femininity. (This includes Dramatics, Naturals, Flamboyant Naturals, Dramatic Classics, Gamines, and Flamboyant Gamines.)
One of the basic reactions is the fear that the open expression of the dominant Yang side will lead to a loss of femininity, sensuality, and allure!
It doesn’t matter when it’s pointed out that some of our most alluring and glamorous celebrities come from the Yang-dominant side. There is still a deep-seated fear of the loss of feminine identity that has to be confronted and reckoned with when you find yourself frightened by the power of strength of your Image Identity.
The simple truth of the situation is: your strength and power are extremely feminine and terribly exciting! You must always remember that the specific type of femininity Nature blessed you with isn’t fluttery or soft–it’s sultry and sophisticated!
Won’t I look too boyish if I give up my perm?
I’m frightened to cut my long hair!
It is quite common to see strong Yangs trying to hide the prominent bone structure of their faces behind hair that is simply too long for their majestic features. Even if the hair is very straggly-looking, it is frequently next to impossible to get such a lady to stop perming, curling, and setting her hair in an effort to make herself look “soft”.
However, you must remember that your hair needs to be connected to your total look. The combination of sculpted hair, architecturally shaped clothing, geometric accessories, and smoky, chiseled makeup is definitely not boyish!
On the contrary, long, shapeless hair or a messy perm will make you appear far plainer and therefore much less feminine than you truly are!
I’m afraid of looking hard!
Won’t my makeup and haircolor look too harsh? Isn’t my nose going to seem enormous?
If your nose seems prominent, it’s probably because you’re focusing on it as a separate piece totally unrelated to your face. In actuality, not only is your nose in perfect proportion to the rest of your facial structure and body type, but it also provides the slightly exotic touch that is the hallmark of your particular beauty.
Therefore, a strong makeup, one that emphasizes the beautifully sculpted contours of your face by using deeper, smoky colors that are applied in a crisp and more angular fashion, is going to provide an elegant finish to your sultry appeal.
The worst you can do is to try to “soften” your features by using smudgy pastels blended in soft, circular shapes. Not only does this clash with your hair and clothing, it waters down the power of your charisma and leaves your features looking extremely out of balance.
I realize it’s ironic, but “softening” is the technique that is guaranteed to make your nose look ungainly, oversized, and awkward!
Haircolor is the same story, my friend! An intense or vivid haircolor is in keeping with your exotic, sensual look. An overly pale or highlighted haircolor will simply fade you into oblivion!
Don’t be willing to sell your soul in pursuit of “softness.” On you it only equates with washed-out dull and extremely wishy-washy. Your version of softness comes through your smoky, sultry glamour.
Your utterly sophisticated confidence, your strength and your power are the most exciting attributes you possess!
But how could anyone do such negative and destructive things to herself…
“…and visually rob herself of her power? She must be extremely insecure, unaware, or, at the least, very unsophisticated.“
Let me be quick to caution you against such a judgment. This is by far the norm, not the exception, of many, many, many women I’ve worked with, none of whom could be defined as unsophisticated or unaware!
It’s just that, at one time, perhaps long ago, she learned that she was too tall, too sharp, too large-boned. Perhaps she grew very early on in her life and was the tallest child in her junior high. Perhaps she grew up with a delicate sister or a voluptuous mother and felt gawky by comparison.
Perhaps she’s simply of an age that made her a victim of a more restrictive concept of feminine beauty. (After all, it’s not all that long ago that women were expected to be mere ornaments on their husbands’ arms–a very difficult place for a strong Yang to find herself. Nevertheless, there she was, along with nearly every other woman alive!)
If this touches any raw nerves in you (even if the scenario is different), take a little time to explore the roots of this attitude towards your strong physical stature. If you don’t overcome your resistance to showcasing your stunning power, you’re going to cheat yourself out of ever realizing your true beauty.
My hope for you is that you will eventually be able to stand tall and proud, like the regal queen Nature created you to be–with all your strength, power, boldness, physicality, and extraordinary charisma clearly visible, and your enjoying every moment of it to the hilt!
Won’t I look too sexy? How will anyone take me seriously?
Women with an extreme Yin influence (which includes all the Romantics, Soft Dramatics, Soft Gamines, and, to a lesser extent, Soft Naturals and Soft Classics) have a different set of fears that nearly always come up, although usually unconsciously.
These Yin-influenced types are nearly always uncomfortable at first with the idea of showing the extremely soft, extremely vulnerable, and extremely sensual sides of their personalities.
The most common reasons for this has to do with the awareness of sensuality and all the complex feelings it brings up. Frequently, there are early negative associations here (if the extreme Yang was the tallest girl early on, the extreme Yin was quite possibly the first to develop breasts and hips).
An adolescent’s connection to her mother’s sense of herself in this area is also something that becomes integrated into a woman’s attitude toward her sexuality.
I have often found that what I call a “closet Romantic”–that is, someone who’s having a hard time dealing with the fact that she is specially beautiful in the traditionally female way–is nearly always wondering what her mother will think of her dressed in clingy clothes with so much makeup slathered on!
No matter that the clothes are very elegant and the makeup is not at all painted, merely shimmering in the most soft and lovely fashion–we’re speaking of irrational fears here, the kind that stop you from realizing your potential.
I’m curvy enough without flaunting it!
The Yin lady frequently hides herself in shapeless clothes so not a hint of figure is ever seen; or she tailors herself within an inch of her life in order to appear elegant and understated.
Of course, the truth is that the former only makes her appear very dumpy and matronly, while the latter only succeeds in appearing exceedingly stark and spinsterish. But again, whatever the rationale, the goal here is hiding the femininity at all costs.
Rather than “flaunting” yourself, think instead of merely gracefully accentuating your softness! This will lead you to a far more positive method of self-expression, always more effective than the negativity of repression!
How can I look professional? And won’t I be asking for “trouble”?
Another battle these Yin-influenced types have had to fight in recent years is the rather dim view of the women’s movement held of traditional feminine beauty; femininity was to be sacrificed in the search of equality. To be extremely Yin in this day and age is considered old-fashioned and somewhat out of step.
I think this is extremely cruel and not at all in keeping with the true spirit of the feminist movement. Freedom means being free to be whoever you are, and the clichés of the “career woman” as tailored, sharp, and ruthless are as harmful to women’s freedom as the ancient cliché of the woman as nothing but a sex object, or “Little Suzy Homemaker.”
I have counted literally thousands of very successful career women among my clients, and most of them are soft and glamorous as well as smart and strong! This is an era of liberation, not limitations!
By learning to embrace and enhance your abundant physical appeal, you open the door to anew level of enjoying who you truly are and gain strength and power from your self-acceptance.
Hiding your femininity means hiding the Yin source of your type of power, which is irresistibly magnetic, when you allow it to be seen!
How can you see strength in being short?
All variations of Gamines usually have some difficulty in learning to accept and accentuate their petiteness. You understand how uncomfortable it is to be pinched on the cheek, patted on the head, and basically treated like a child for most of your life.
Therefore, it’s not unusual to encounter an attitude of feistiness here. Some of this is simply part of the Gamine zest and enthusiasm that says “Don’t you dare treat me as less powerful than I am!”
While this is understandable, if the attitude is left unchecked it can turn into a negative anger that borders on hostility. It’s not uncommon to encounter Gamines who are always looking for a fight.
Instead of plunging headfirst into battle, cultivate your sparkling wit and learn to respond with a lighter touch. It’s a far more effective complement to your spirited nature!
But what about all those rules for “dressing tall”?
I don’t think I’ve ever met a petite woman who wasn’t so filled with rules on “creating a long, vertical line” or “always matching hemline, hosiery, and shoes” that she could hardly be restrained long enough to even consider that there might be a more positive approach to her height, rather than simply camouflaging it at all costs!
An extremely disdainful attitude has been thrust upon Gamines by society’s insistence on teaching her that she is somehow less than a complete adult simply because she is petite.
If this touches on a sore spot with you, please take some time and explore it, even if it’s painful. You won’t get anywhere with your physical appearance until you make friends with your stature.
It is the most dominant part of your physicality. To reject it is to reject the most endearing and attractive part of yourself.
By accepting your height and learning to love it, you will open yourself up to the dynamic and sparkling beauty you truly possess. “Good things come in small packages” is no idle cliché. It should be your creed!
When you truly believe this, you’ll open yourself to the enormous amounts of adulation the world reserves for super dynamos like you!
I’m really afraid of being dull and boring!
The last category of resistance comes in the area of Classics (although Naturals sometimes feel a kinship here, as well).
Because Classics are so symmetrical, so even-tempered, and so practical by nature, they sometimes feel taken for granted. It’s easy to see how this happens if you remember that Classic is nearly everyone else’s ideal of beauty.
Since everyone else envies the Classic’s elegance and calm reserve, it’s hard for anyone to ever think they might have problems, fears, and the insecurities other people have. Also, they seem to be in command so much of the time that they feel ignored, as if no one relates to them on a human level.
When a Classic has a deep-seated feeling of neglect (usually tracing back to a childhood that perhaps contained a lot of isolation because of her appearance of extreme capability), she can develop an extremely rigid mode of existence that can seem quite self righteous and overbearing.
There can be a feeling of superiority about a Classic that manifests itself in a bit of snobbish attitude.
If you can resist the temptation to overdo, you’ll slowly begin to realize that you are enough just the way you are! Overstating yourself in your appearance is tantamount to “gliding the lily,” in your case.
Simplicity and moderation will go much further in expressing your innate refinement and elegant sophistication.
But how will anyone pay attention to me if I don’t wear trendy clothes?
Will anyone ever thing I’m sexy?
My experience in working with Classics and Naturals suggests that it’s really an underlying insecurity that poses this problem.
On the one hand, Naturals or Classics with resistance to their Image Identity are usually terrified of being ignored, so they are often very frightened of letting the simplicity or elegance of an outfit, a hairstyle, or a makeup speak for itself!
On the other hand, they are usually loathe to give up formulas of dressing that have worked for them in the past, and therefore are sometimes willing to do battle unto death to hang onto a suit that should have been thrown away years ago, or to dare to step into an outfit that is even slightly different from their “Ralph Laurened” neighbors!
The push/pull of wanting to be different but at the same time wanting to conform is the Classic’s resistance to her innate balance on the Yin/Yang scale!
Similarly, the Natural’s frequent desire to overdress can be her resistance to the complete appreciation of her freshness as her most appealing trait. In addition, a Natural sometimes feels her robust nature is contradictory to preconceived notions about feminine appeal.
If you’ve ever felt any of these last points, please remember that there are many different types of “sexiness!”
Grace Kelly’s sophistication certainly included sensuality. So did Ingrid Bergman’s fresh vitality. Neither of these celebrated beauties needed to become a caricature of a frenzied “sex kitten” to fully express this side of themselves and neither do you!
Your sensual appeal will become clearly visible when you accept and love your basic nature. Trusting in your individuality and learning to express it with all your heart is the “secret” to self-fulfillment in your appearance.
If any of this rings a bell, my best advice to you is to explore any mistrust you might have of your basic instincts. You must be able to trust them implicitly before you can begin to discover your greatest source of strength!
You don’t need to be like everyone else, no do you need to be different from everyone else. You only need to enjoy your strong inner direction as well as the beauty of your physical purity to shine as clearly as a prism of flawless crystal.
If these last few comments seem irrelevant to you, that’s terrific; simply pass them by and move along. If however, you can utilize them to search out a deeper level of awareness of what might be causing you problems, then by all means, I hope you will do so.
After all, the most important thing about your metamorphosis is that you feel as beautiful as you are! If you have basic attitudes about yourself that are less than accepting, no amount of elegant clothing, stunning hair, or fabulous makeup is going to make a difference in your experience of who you are.
And, my friend, it’s your experience of yourself that is the entire point! Spend whatever time, energy, money, and effort is necessary in coming to terms with who you are physically. Explore your emotional attitudes in relation to your true physical makeup, as well as to the image you “wish” you could have.
Your efforts will pay off handsomely. They may also turn out to be some of the most important investments in your life! Metamorphosis is meant to be a change from within.
If you will truly explore your inner nature as you institute these outer changes, you’ll find your awareness, perceptions and acceptance of all your parts will simply grow and grow and grow!
Soon, you’ll be soaring with the beauty of the truth of who you are!